There are two stances you can come from. Victimhood or ownership.
Ownership is being able to choose for yourself (hence why I am always talking about choosing!)
Victimhood is about being at the mercy of your circumstance.
For MANY years I lived my life in victimhood. And when I say many, I truly mean MANY!
I had my story down pat. I lost my brother when I was young. I lost my dad and got divorced when I was 26. And when I was 34 my mom died too.
While all of that is true, what was not okay was staying in the victimhood of my circumstance. Life was bleak. Life was hard. And I was committed to my own misery.
Then I entered into the transformation world of personal development. While it was me that needed to do the work, (and truthfully some days I did not want to as it was easy to be in my victimhood!) I am not in a place of choosing peace for my life.
Granted when the peace came, I did not understand it since I built my baseline around all of the trauma. The moment I was able to recalibrate, life became simple. Maybe not always easy, but simple.
When you take ownership in your life, you get committed. It is helpful making clear decisions. This way you can let go of the worry and the doubt and move forward.
When you are stuck in your victimhood, you are tied to your feelings. You base your decisions on your feelings versus your commitments.
An example that I give is if a building you were in was on fire, would you run out of the building (committed to getting to safety) or would you check in with your feelings first to see what to do about your situation?
Your feelings are a good indication, but unless you understand them, they are lying to you based on what you make your feelings mean.
Are you living a life or commitment or a life of feelings?
| Much love, Trudi |