Grieving is one of the most painful and draining experiences we go through. It is the roller coaster that we NEVER asked to be a part of.
As you may know grieving is not only death. There are so many ways that we experience loss that we do not even realize we are experiencing grief.
Shortly after my mom passed away, one day I called off from work. The guilt and shame that I felt was immense because I knew I was not sick, but I was not ready to face the day.
A rule was put into place to speak to my boss back to let her know I was actually sick. When I spoke to her, she asked if I was sick or if it was the grief.
When I teared up trying to respond, she patiently told me that it was understandable that I called off. She wanted me to call a friend so that I could get out of my house at some point in the day.
This has stayed with me for 11 years. And I tear up every time I think about it or share it.
She gave me the greatest gift that day. She made me promise her not to stay isolated. My pain was so heavy and burdensome to me that I did not want to have to dump it onto someone else.
I met up with a friend to go on a walk with her and her dog.
While I wanted to stay in my head space how I was all alone, my boss made me realize what I really needed was human connection.
It is so challenging that when we are going through the journey of grief, we are unable to see outside of our own selves and the minimal responsibilities that we have.
The shame takes hold of us and makes us believe we are destined to do it on our own. However, that is just the grief talking!
We need to have better tools to help us navigate while we are experiencing loss or major identity shifts. Because our internal voice is an asshole and lies to us!
Connection is key!
| Much love, Trudi |