Oversharing is unnecessary when you are telling someone no!
It is that time of year when people are getting invitation to different events. Rather than stating that we cannot make it or can no longer make it, we feel like we need to share the why.
That is not true.
One way to think of it is when someone cancels on you, do you truly need to know why? I will be honest, it can help, but it does not make a difference.
You are able to say things such as ‘I am no longer able to attend’ or ‘I cannot make it’ and those are clear, direct and to the point.
When we are stepping in and sharing more, it is because we are stepping back into people pleasing. We want to release the guilt we are experiencing of not being able to make someone else happy.
While you can share the details, you also do not have to share it.
There is this belief that I carry at times that I won’t get the next invite if I keep saying no. Truth is if someone wants you in their life, they will ask unless that is no longer the case.
Oversharing is not helpful because it is trying to ‘get it right’. And the fact is, you are doing what is right for you. No explanation needed!
Next time you want to justify your decision, stop. Be concise. Release the guilt of not being able to people please while you are pleasing YOURSELF! It is called honoring YOUR boundaries!
| Much love, Trudi |