My Life was forever changed this day

What do I say about the day that forever changed my life? I wish it never happened AND I am also really fucking proud who I have become on the journey through grief.

This day has so many contradictions to me that even I do not understand!

I miss my mom. I wish she was here to talk back to me in this dimension. However, that is not my reality.

The journey I have been on the last eleven years has been the most transformative ten plus times over.

This year the anniversary of her death falls on the same day of Friday as it was back in 2012. When I try to tap back into that energy of who I was then, it truly is hard for me to remember that version of me.

Wow! I never thought that would happen. I am not sure if it is because I released the energy in writing the memoir or if it is something else.

Today I am focusing on extreme self-compassion for myself. If I ask my clients to do this, I must do it as well. Trust me I am going to enjoy my 2-hour massage. However, what I am most excited about is that I am honoring my own needs first. And that is having extreme self-compassion towards myself all day long!

What I can say about my experience with my mother’s death is it made me confront my GREATEST fear!

Knowing how I reacted after my father died, I was worried about how I would navigate this world without their love and support. I would never say it was easy since in fact it got downright messy.

However, today marks eleven years later and I am still here living beyond my biggest fear. This is a huge accomplishment. One that no one ever wishes to have.

I can say that when you HAVE to face your greatest fear the other fears are nothing in comparison. For the record as I type this, I am reminding myself to not let my current fears get in my way! I am bigger than my fears. As are you!

Even though we go through hard times, you are resilient beyond measure. It may feel like the grief will never go away, but the intensity does lessen its grip on you if you courageously honor your own needs. 

Give yourself the permission to move through your grief rather than suppressing it. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.

Much love,
Trudi